DOTLAN EveMaps

Salutations, Misfit!

Welcome to the House of Smiles...

This is a place where questionable practices, intrusive thoughts and countless experiments are carried out all in the name of science. We've yeeted nothing but nonsense into the bowels of space in order to generate as much viable data as we can f*cking muster. We can confidentally say that aside from the ever looming shadow of death, our endless hours of active field testing benefits you, you're next of kin and the generations that may or may not come next!. On the brink of discovery more or so half the time, we mainly just watch youtube during breaks... Join today!
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NOW SEEKING VOLUNTEERS -------->

- Loot Analyst ( Having a basic understanding of how other Capsuleers design ships is an essential part of our research!. By temporarily borrowing Capsuleer assets theres no limit to project funding. )

- Human Resources ( Engaging with the public is critical to growing our business, encouraging sales in our brands and positively impacting municipal policies. Don't worry, we make certain you are up to code by using live ammunition to properly calibrate you're systems. )

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FACT: The Key to any successful cooperative test is trust and as our data clearly shows, Humans cannot be trusted. Our solution, Implants!. After undergoing a variety of tests, creating a foundation of mutual respect reinforced by the simulated bonds of aritificial friendship we revisted the theory. After careful observation in live-scenarios we've concluded that Implants give us 6 extra minutes of Trust. Fantastic!.


*Message paid for by House of Smiles