DOTLAN EveMaps

To whom this may concern,

Though we may seem like a nice choice to join as your future corp, the truth is, you would be mistaken. We are shabby, lazy, and overall incompetent when it comes to accomplishing menial tasks that require minimum effort and dedication. To highlight some of our exploits, we have fired upon our own poses out of anger and ineptitude, and subsequently been annihilated by our own pos in turn. We have shut off poses lying in space out of boredom and carelessness, and also gotten poses stolen on occasion due to personal error. In fleet battles, we have a flawless record of bumping Titans in the middle of large battles and creating havoc that has lost us wars. In order to simplify and hopefully clarify, you must realize that we are the pure embodiment of Murphy’s Law.

On the other hand, we inspire fear and are relentlessly vicious … when it comes to mining veldspar. Some of those high sec rocks have never seen so many mining lasers emanating from a caracal before, and they shall never see it again! Our primary ship of choice is either the Minmitar or Amarr shuttle hull, however more often than not we are blessed with the worshipful Ibis in its stead. We make our enemy fall at our feet, and though it be laughing, we find it a perfect time to strike. Have you ever been attacked by a ravenous small fleet of Ibis engaging on your position? “Who’s laughing now?!”, we ask.

Some of our scotch-riddled conversations may sporatically evolve into enlightened discussions of fine wine, science, and life in general, giving the impression that we are amicable people with sophisticated cultural backgrounds and intellectual prowess - but don't be fooled! We are cantankerous and edgy, poorly groomed, and drunk most of the time we’re online. Our math is bad and our sepllign is worse, which leads to numerous failed contracts and an enormous waste of our meager amount of cash. “Unreliable” would be the word to use to describe us if only we knew what that word actually meant. We are a boon to the enemy, and a ticking time bomb to our allies. Blessed with impeccable judgment, most of our members have a killboard that is similar to that of high sec rats (but the big ones).

Most importantly, though we are small in size, we can make quite a mess when someone screws with us or our friends. So do yourself a favor and come join the fray - see what our shinanigans are all about. We are typically a greater danger to ourselves than we are to others (most likely), but will do everything in our power to avoid screwing up your day.

Good luck out there, don't suck, and as always, fly hard.

- BWFZ Crix Jericho