DOTLAN EveMaps

u'\u201cIt\u2019s too bad that stupidity isn\u2019t painful.\u201d

\u201cI break away from all conventions that do not lead to my earthly success and happiness.\u201d

\u201cIt has been said, \'the truth will make men free.\' The truth alone has never made anyone free. It is only doubt which will bring mental emancipation.\u201d

\u201cWhy should I not hate mine enemies\u2015if I "love" them does that not place me at their mercy?\u201d

\u201cThere is a beast in man that should be exercised, not exorcised.\u201d

\u201cBlessed are the destroyers of false hope, for they are the true Messiahs - Cursed are the god-adorers, for they shall be shorn sheep!\u201d

\u201cThere is nothing inherently sacred about moral codes. Like the wooden idols of long ago, they are the work of human hands, and what man has made, man can destroy!\u201d

ASL

Starbug strays into a Rogue Simulant hunting zone and is detected by a battle-cruiser whose xenophobic mechanoid occupants despise humanity. The Starbug crew are captured, but instead of killing them the Simulants upgrade the systems, weapons and armour of Starbug, intending to battle them for sport.

By a fluke the Starbug crew cripple the Simulant ship, but before their destruction the Simulants transmit an "Armageddon Virus" into Starbug\'s navigation computer, locking the ship on a suicide course toward a large volcanic moon. Kryten deliberately infects himself with the virus in order to try to formulate a software antidote.

Kryten\'s battle with the virus manifests itself as a Wild West\u2013flavoured dream; he is the cowardly, drunken and burnt-out Sheriff of a town called Existence, who is standing against four outlaws known as the Apocalypse Boys: Famine, Pestilence, War, and Death. The crew use an artificial reality machine to enter Kryten\'s dream, taking the roles of characters from a wild west video game with various skills: Lister with knife throwing, Cat with expert shooting skills, and Rimmer with hand-to-hand combat.

All three show off their skills as Lister pins a bully to the wall with his knives, Cat shoots the bullets of two gunmen out of the air simultaneously, and Rimmer fights off several cowboys with his bare hands. As Kryten tries to flee town, Cat stops him by shooting a bullet which ricochets off numerous objects until it hits a sign, which falls and knocks Kryten down. The others try to sober him up by force-feeding him raw coffee. He finally begins to recognise them when Cat returns from repossessing Kryten\'s guns and finds there are doves inscribed on the handles (a reference to the "dove program" Kryten needs to assemble to counteract the virus).

The trio then confront the Apocalypse Boys while the still-confused and unsteady Kryten struggles for a solution. Unfortunately, Lister, Cat, and Rimmer are rendered powerless by the virus before the final showdown, but manage to delay the Apocalypse Boys long enough for Kryten to finish his antidote, which appears in the dream as his guns turn into doves which destroy the Boys. Kryten leaves the dream and hastily loads his antidote into the navigation computer, seemingly too late as Starbug crashes into the molten surface of the moon. Several seconds later, it bursts free with the crew giving an apropos "Yeeha!" before flying off into the sunset.'