DOTLAN EveMaps

Hola y bienvenidos a Los Pepes Cartello!

(For more information, watch 'Narcos' on Netlfix)

Here are a few things you'll need to get started:

1) A sense of humor is paramount. I swear to fucking God that if you don't find my dad jokes as equally funny as my racist and sexist jokes, I will rip out your rectum and beat your mother to death with it. If you don't have a mother, then congratulations! You're in! Motherless bastards are kind of our target demographic

2) Some semblance of interstellar competence is requested, though not necessarily required. Believe me, we can't afford to be that picky. We're lucky to make it out of station without somebody getting butt-fucked by Concord. Though not due to lack of skill, we've got some stellar pilots (if you didn't laugh at that pun, get out)

3) A computer. Fucking duh!

4) A comprehensive understanding of the intricacies of physics. Or just watch 'Rick and Morty', whichever

5) I dunno, like, five dollars? Nah, fuck it. Nevermind

*Note: Number five is a joke, CCP! A joke!

6) Lastly, you gotta be at least active on comms and in our chats. You don't have to roam with us every night or log a certain number of hours. We got it, you don't have a life and you'd be on EVE twenty-five hours a day if you could. But then we would know you're a loser as opposed to just thinking you're a loser. Which really isn't much better, but losers can't be choosers, right?

7) Speak fluent Guttermouth and frequently ingest tequila. Orally or rectally, we don't judge your brand of alcoholism here!

8) Dank memes. Really, really dank. Danky, danky, dank-dank memes

9) Erm, I could only think of nine things, but I wanna end on ten, so... Pick a favorite color?

10) Finally, above all else and most importantly, you gotta check out my mix tape. It's lit, fam https://goo.gl/nwrTE6

If you need anything or have any questions (which you shouldn't because this description is super descriptive), feel free to hit up the following knuckle-draggers:

Los Pepes Public

Cmd Eduard
Saul Arthie
Zadan Tyvianne

Please note we are an invite only corporation.

Viva Los Pepes!