DOTLAN EveMaps

Customs Code Expertise - Train this skill for cheaper taxes than before Rubicon. Pistols is here for you!
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They Need All The Firepower They Can Get!

Pistols For Pandas: This good cause is good...'cause!

I'll tell you just how P-for-P gets small firearms into the paws of our planet's most adorable, and most unarmed, creatures.

For every dollar you give to Pistols for Pandas, we laugh at, 'cause, like, what good's a dollar gonna do?

But for every five dollars you give, we buy one box of cereal with the best prize in it.

We eat said cereal, play with the prize, and save the box top.

Once we have enough box tops, I dress up like a fifth grader and take them to a local school.

That buys the school a computer, which I sneak out with after charming the horn-rimmed glasses off the media centre ladies.

I take these computers to a local pawn shop, and exchange them for the weapons pandas need.

And finally, when nobody's looking, I dump these pistols into the panda habitat down at the local zoo.

Did you hear that? I used the word "local" like three times. That means this good cause is even upittier than most!

We're destroying these poor creatures faster than ever before. If we don't give them the means to protect themselves when we come clear-cut their bamboo forests and build a five-star resort, who will?